


Widowjest Drabbles NaNoWriMo2019

by CavannaRose



Series: Critical Role Fics [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Bar Room Brawl, Cheek Kisses, Daydreaming, Drabble Collection, F/M, Fantasy, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Holding Hands, Introspection, Magic, NaNoWriMo, Picnics, Pining, Platonic Kissing, Reading, Religion, Taverns, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Widojest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 13:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 13,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21282803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CavannaRose/pseuds/CavannaRose
Summary: A collection of the ficlets I am writing as part of my NaNoWriMo challenge. I will try to do one every day, but no guarantee. Length will be short as they are just warm ups before I get into my novel for the day.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Series: Critical Role Fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1021350
Comments: 20
Kudos: 71





	1. Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for up to C2E83.

The heartbeat followed her, long after they left the chamber. Thump, thump, thump. She could hear it in her dreams. Every time she closed her eyes, the slow beat of the permaheart kept her tossing and turning. Jester sighed, opening her eyes and staring blankly at the ceiling. Across the room they shared at the Xhorhouse, Beau was sprawled across her own bed, mouth open as soft snores escaped her. The little blue tiefling was almost jealous of her friend's ability to just... sleep. With a sigh she pushed up off the bed, gathering her frilly housecoat and wrapping it around herself as she tiptoed out of the room.

At first she wasn't sure where she was going, she just didn't want to hear the beating of the heart anymore. Her steps eventually led her up to the garden roof, the little jars of daylight making everything seem magical. Caduceus had done a good job on the garden, and the plants were lush and relaxing. One deep breath after another filled her lungs with the scents of flowers and tastier things. Caduceus always spent a lot of time up here, and almost nothing seemed to bother him, so maybe she could find some of that calm he exuded amidst the plants he tended.

Finding a comfortable spot to sit, Jester closed her eyes. "Traveler? Are you there? It's just... Every time I think things are as scary as they can get, they get even scarier, and Nott died and I didn't think she was going to come back, but you made her, and I keep thinking about all those pieces of Halas and..."

"Jester?" She paused, the words stopping as quickly as they had begun to spill out of her mouth. She opened her eyes not to see her best friend, but Caleb, his face full of concern. Kneeling down beside her, he tentatively reached out and took her hands, the same way she had taken his a dozen times or more. She stared for a moment at where their fingers intertwined, his calloused and ink stained, hers so very, very blue. "It is very late, ja?" Just like that she could hear the heartbeat again. Thump, thump, thump. This time, though, it was in her own chest as Caleb's face, so full of concern, moved closer to hers, to get a better look at her. "Are you... feeling okay?"

_No Caleb_, she wanted to say. _I'm not feeling okay. I'm scared, and I think maybe Nott would rather be dead than here with her friends, and I miss my momma and all I want to do is go home and be safe and maybe kiss someone_. She didn't say any of that, though. Instead she forced a smile on her face and a lightness in her voice. "Of course, I just came up to think for a bit, and maybe talk to the Traveler and thank him for saving Nott, you know?" Her voice trailed off at the sad look on Caleb's face, and her heart beat louder. Thumpthumpthump. It seemed that lately he always knew when she was just pretending to be happy.

Without another word he pulled her forward, into his arms, and just held her. His own heart beat was suddenly around her. Thump thump thump. For the first time in a long time, Jester felt cherished. Safe. She relaxed into Caleb's embrace, and let the unshed tears run down her face, pressed against his coat where he wouldn't see them.


	2. Wind

The breeze picked up, tugging at the hem of her dress, blowing her hair forwards. Jester lifted her face up towards the sky, letting it blow over her, feeling the strength she had as she stood. It felt like she was at the centre of something, and she swore that she could hear a familiar, fond chuckle in her ear. Weather like this always made her feel like the Traveler was close. Blowing important papers away, lifting up snobby people's dresses, and stealing fancy hats.

"Jester, you are coming, ja?" She turned at the sound of Caleb's voice, not seeing the way he paused, stunned by the soft smile she wore. His eyes drank her in, how peaceful she looked, and a strange feeling churned inside him. Did he want to be someone who made her smile like that? Could he? Oblivious to his sudden indecision, Jester reached out to take his hand with an even brighter smile.

"Sorry Caleb! I was just enjoying the wind. Isn't it wonderful when it blows around like this? It makes me want to run and spin!" Releasing his fingers she spun in a circle, her skirts flaring. The wind picked up, blowing them up and she laughed in delight, pushing them down in front.

Caleb shook his head, a small smile tugging up the corner of his lips, and she felt like she had won a medal. Even the smallest smile from Caleb made her feel like a hero, and she sidled back up to him, bumping him lightly with her shoulder before taking his hand in hers again. Swinging their joined hands enthusiastically, she practically skipped as she dragged him along to join the rest of the group.


	3. Clarity

They were used to him looking intently for books, for obsessively gathering and collecting them. No one asked any questions when he slipped out to do some book shopping. What they didn't know was the drastic shift in direction his search had taken. Oh he wasn't going to turn down a magical theory tome if he encountered one by chance, but that wasn't what he was actively looking for. No, what he was digging around for were obscure collections about gods, about cults, about modern shifts in belief systems. It wasn't a big thing when it was just... Jester. But they had found that symbol of the Traveler, and then there was the gnoll who also worshiped the capricious spirit that had apparently been his little blue friend's childhood companion.

To say that he was worried was maybe putting too fine of a point on it. He was just looking for some... clarity. He wanted to assure himself that this invisible friend that apparently gave Jester her magic had no ill intentions. If something were to happen to her... He shook his head, driving the thought away with physical action as well as mental force. He scanned through musty old tomes and thin pamphlets, but the references to the Traveler were few and far between. It was as if he had just suddenly come into being, but that didn't explain how he had spread, and so far. From Nicodranas to Asarius was a massive jump. A young tiefling and an old gnoll, there just didn't seem to be any _connection_. "Caleb, I think maybe it is time to go. I drew dicks in eleven books and on three scrolls, but that one monk keeps looking at me now."

The familiar giggle broke him free, and he closed the tome that he held with a fond sigh. "Ja. Okay. Let's go. I did promise we would stop at that sweet shop before it closed."


	4. Tweeted

She sat by the window of the Xorhouse, staring out into the murky twilight that permeated all of the land. The set of her shoulders was stooped, drawn in close around herself, so different than her usual bouncy demeanor. For long moments he stayed by the door, unsure if he should interrupt whatever private moment she was having, worried about the sadness he felt coming off of his little blue friend. It was so rare that she let any emotions show other than happiness, but he felt that perhaps that was just as harmful as his dour demeanor.

When she didn't seem to notice him after a moment, he was decided, and Caleb moved into the room until he was standing barely an arm's length away from Jester. "Jester mein Freund, are you all right?"

"Hmm? Oh, hello Caleb..." She barely turned to glance at him before looking back out the window, her voice trailing off in a way that made his heart hurt. Unsure what to do, he settled in beside her, looking out the window to try and see what she saw. "I used to listen to the birds a lot, back home in Nicodranas. It used to make me feel less... lonely when I was missing my Mama. There aren't any birds singing here though. It's always night time."

"You know... you could be the tweeting bird for a little while. We aren't going to do anything dangerous today, and it's not that hard a spell..."

The freckled blue face turned to him with such sudden brightness and longing that he was lost. Pulling a caterpillar cocoon out of his component pouch, he went through the motions of the spell, his voice perhaps displacing a hint of longing, and then Jester was a small blue bird perched on the windowsill. She took off into the air, chirping a bright little song of exultation, before circling his head a half dozen times and winging out the window. Caleb nearly stumbled in his attempt to follow her, up to the rooftop garden. For the better part of an hour he watched her flit about, singing little bird songs to herself, until finally she landed just before the spell faded.

Strong arms wrapped around his middle, and the bright smile that went all the way up to her odd eyes, eyes that had become far more familiar and fond over the past months. That strange pain in his chest unclenched, and he allowed himself, just for a few moments, to return her embrace. "Thank you, Caleb. I feel so much better already." Going up on her toes she brushed her lips over his cheek and then skipped off downstairs, calling for Beau excitedly as she went. Caleb stood in the garden for several long minutes more, fingertips touching his cheek, almost convinced he could still feel her warmth there, and a crooked smile tugging at the corner of his own lips.


	5. Holy

Xhorhas was always so cold, compared to the Menagerie Coast. Jester pulled her coat tighter, missing the sun shining on Nicodranas. Missing the warm summer rains. Here it was just dark. Always dark. She stood up, dusting the dirt off her skirt and looked about the garden. At least here they had their jars of sunshine. The rest of the city was so depressing. Rubbing her hands together to warm them up slightly, she wandered past Caduceus who was communing with the Wild Mother. Pausing, she watched him for a moment, a million questions running through her head. He was the only other cleric she'd really ever spent time with, but he was so different from her. His god wasn't like the Traveler, though she had been really pretty.

When he communed he looked so... at peace. Shaking herself, she continued on past the firbolg. She didn't need peace in her life, she only wanted fun. Her god was the most fun of all the gods, and that was what really mattered. Skipping down the steps into the Xhorhouse, she almost bumped into Caleb coming up the stairs. A squeak and a giggle escaped her as they got all tangled up together, eventually disentangling to find them both sitting on the stairs, Caleb with a book in one hand like usual, and a now empty teacup in his other hand. "I didn't see you coming, Caleb! Are you okay?"

"Ja. I was just bringing some tea up to our tall friend up there, but it appears that now it is all over my coat instead." Jester laughed again, throwing back her head in delight. Moments like this, accidental chaos, that was where she felt her god. That was where she almost heard the Traveler laughing in her head.

"I think he is praying right now, Caleb. I'm sorry I spilled the tea on you." Her grinning face belied any attestation of innocence she might make, but he simply shook his head, that tiny hint of a smile that she considered hers turning up the corner of his lips. He never made that face for other people. Oh sure, he had a smile for Nott, and even one for Beau, but this one was all her own. She kissed his cheek and took the cup from his hand. "Go read your book, I will get Caduceus his tea."

Bemused, Caleb wandered off as he was told and Jester soon returned to the garden, setting the tea down beside Caduceus. The firbolg cracked open an eye and smiled that calm smile of his. "Hey Jester. You're not Caleb."

She laughed again, and then sprawled out in the dirt near her much taller friend. "No, I spilled tea on his coat so I said I would bring you a new one." Biting her lip for a second, she lowered her voice. It was almost embarrassing, but she was so curious. "You talk to your god like this a lot, here in the garden. I never did that with the Traveler, he was always just there, but lately he's not so much. Do you think... do you think you could show me your way? Maybe he would like it if I was like a proper cleric sometimes, you know."

"Well I don't know about that, but I can show you. Sure. That'd be nice."

From his vantage point tucked against the big tree, Caleb watched as the two clerics, different in every way two people could be, sat together. It was strange to see Jester so still, so at peace. If he was the fanciful sort, this would be the kind of scene you'd want a painter to capture. Maybe put a unicorn sneaking closer. He knew her magic was divine in nature, but right now? Right now she truly looked holy.


	6. The Carpet

Caleb walked with his nose buried in a new spell book as he idly followed the skipping figure of Jester through the shop, cooing over curtains and chairs and other such inconsequential things. She skipped back, carrying some kind of small but elaborately woven basket that he dutifully held out his arm to hold for her. With a brightly chirped, 'thank you, Caleb', she went back to wander the aisles, running her fingers over all kinds of pieces of household decoration to brighten up the inside of the Xhorhouse. His tiefling friend made a particularly loud squeak of delight, finally pulling his attention away from the book to see what she was examining.

In the corner, Jester had partially unrolled a small area rug, square in shape and patterned in bright, geometric shapes. "Isn't it beautiful, Caleb! Look, there's blue, and orange, and green, and silver, and pink, and look, even a little purple here along the edges. It's just like us, the Mighty Nein. All our colours blended together." She stroked the carpet with her fingers, a soft smile on her face. Caleb tucked his book away and examined the carpet. It was garish and bright, and very much Jester's taste with it's vibrant pattern, but it did seem to have a lot of the same colours as their motley group of friends.

Jester bounced up, looking for the shopkeeper. "Excuse me! How much for the carpet? The brightly coloured one? I found it in the back?" The elderly gnome gave her a price, his voice too low for Caleb to hear, but he did notice there was less skip in her step when she came back. "I guess there's not really a place to put it anyway. Come on, Caleb. Let's go back." 

Frowning, Caleb followed her out of the store. "Jester? Are you okay?"

He watched as she tucked her disappointment away, forcing the smile that she usually wore back into place. "I'm fine! Let's go back and tell Beau about the new books we found! I can read the really smutty parts out to her!" She gave a little twirl and started heading back at cheery skip.

Caleb frowned. "I will catch you up, I think I left something behind at the bookstore."

She paused, turning to frown at him. "Are you sure?"

"Ja. Go. Share your smutty books with Beau." Caleb smiled awkwardly at Jester, and with a shrug she turned and continued on her path back to the Xhorhouse. 

An hour later, Caleb returned to the Xhorhouse, struggling with his purchase and the door. Walking by, Fjord paused to frown at the wizard. "What do you have there, Caleb? Do you need assistance?"

"Nein. I just..."

"CALEB!" Jester's voice cut off his protest, and he nearly dropped the item in his arms as he heard the note of incredulous delight. "You got the carpet! But it was so much money! Even I thought it was a lot of money for a carpet!"

"I made an agreement with the shopkeeper. I got a good deal." A blur of blue and then Caleb, carpet and all, found himself lifted in an excited hug, his cheeks being spattered with exuberantly affectionate kisses. 

"Oh Caleb, you're the bestest ever! I'm gonna put it right here by the door so everyone can see!"


	7. Sculpted

Painting and drawing were some of her favourite things to do, but since she got the magic paints, a whole new world had opened up to Jester. Seeing what she envisioned with depth and dimension was... fascinating. Compelling. She wanted to touch it all. She was thinking deep thoughts about it, wandering along the shore near the Lavish Chateau. She scuffed her foot in the damp sand, then paused, examining the way it held it's shape, almost like the shapes she painted, like the Traveler statues and the tiny dicks she left around as tributes to her god.

Dropping to her knees, she dug her fingers into the sand, squeezing it, feeling the way it held together, and she had a spark of inspiration. Smoothing and shaping, she carefully crafted first a dick, and it drew a giggle from her mouth. Then she did the vague form of the Traveler, just to see how well the sand held its shape. When it got too tall, too far from the ground, it started to crumble. If she added more water, it just washed away. Frowning, she dug deeper, under the sand, until she reached a thick deposit of clay. She wasn't sure how she knew it was there, but for a moment it felt like there were hands guiding her own, that echo of a laugh, a whisper of warmth on her cheek.

Sitting in the sand now, fingers streaked with the dark red clay, she began to craft a figure. Carefully sculpting the swell of a calf, the captured stillness of the way he held his hands. The way his neck tilted down, either to be less observed, or to focus on something he was holding. She had thought she was going to make the Traveler, but as she stepped away, brushing her fingertips over the hair to reposition the way it fell, she realized that it was not her cloaked companion from childhood that she had created with the frenzied energy of an artist inspired. A blush tinted her cheeks with a purplish hue as she stepped back, embarrassed.

"Jester? Are you down there?" As the Zemnian accent drifted over the sound of the waves crashing lightly behind her, she gasped, and jumped to her feet, staring at her creation in a mix of pride and horror. She didn't want to destroy it, but she didn't want him to see either. Instead she wiped her clay-caked hands on her skirt, wincing slightly at how they ruined it, and bustled off towards the source of the voice.

"I'm here, Caleb! Did you need something?"


	8. Dot, dot, dot...

Sometimes there was a weight between Caleb' words. A heavy pause, as what he said settled in both in his own mind, and in those that listened. At first it was kind of annoying, Jester was a hurry-er. She spoke fast, acted fast, and sometimes waiting for Caleb to get to the point was difficult. Still, he was worth it. She sat across from him, listening to him speak, waiting through his long pauses as he struggled to share even this small part of himself. Each pause was a treasure, because it was a struggle that he was willing to let her see. She marveled at his openness. His bravery in sharing. He inspired her, made her want to share with him what she kept hidden inside, but then she worried that her grief would weigh his down. She couldn't do that, so instead she listened through his pauses and held his hand, letting him share at his own pace.

Sometimes when Jester spoke about things, she trailed off, leaving the end of her sentences hanging. She would get serious, but then that would fade, as if the world slowly pressed in around her, stealing her breath. Whenever she would falter, whenever her voice would fade like that, it was like a blade in his chest. She was so often the source of joy for their group, but pain recognized pain. He could see the hurt she held tight to herself, and he wanted to reach out and help her carry that burden, but she was still so afraid to share it. Too afraid to risk showing the others that she had her own hurts. Every time her voice trailed off, Caleb knew she was packing up her emotions and putting them away, making someone else's healing more important. She claimed she wasn't a healer, but her whole happy persona was designed to make other people's lives easier.


	9. No, you don't

Jester and Nott went crashing through the room, high pitched squeals of excitement echoing around them. Five seconds later Beau came swinging around the corner, her own face pinched in concentration. Catching sight of the other two girls, she growled. "Using magic is cheating!"

"You're a monk! You are made of cheating!" Nott's pitchy voice shouted back as the two brightly coloured women ducked out of the room. In the corner, Caleb slouched lower, hiding behind his book with a surly expression. He'd been trying to find a quiet place around the Xhorhouse to finish his book all day. First Fjord had interrupted him in his room. Then Caduceus had kept chattering on in the war room. He should have realized that what Jester kept referring to as the hot tub room would not be an acceptable alternative. 

Jester came dashing back into the room, shedding clothing almost faster than Caleb could put his book down. "Oh no you don't! Jester!" Shooting him a cheeky grin, she slid the last of her clothing off and jumped into the water, splashing it everywhere. The wizard scrambled to pick up his tome, holding it aloft at the last minute, saving it from being completely soaked. He stood there, his clothes drenched and his book being held above his head in one hand. "Jester..." His voice was strangled, somewhere between fond amusement and irritation. If the paper had been damaged, he would have been more upset.

The tiefling paddled across the hot tub to look up at him, her eyes twinkling. "Oh come on, Caleb. You should come join me. It's really nice in here you know."


	10. Used Teabags

Caduceus was a delightful addition to the group. He was calm, surprisingly insightful, a devoted healer, and surprisingly clutch in a tight spot. They were even getting used to the fact that his tea (which tasted wonderful, by the way) was grown on graves. What Caleb was not getting used to, however, was the used tea bags left EVERYWHERE. Nott was a hoarder, neither Beau nor Fjord seemed to care, and Jester was ten times messier than all of them put together, but it was starting to grate on his nerves. Practically vibrating with suppressed irritation, the wizard glared down at the counter where he had unwittingly placed his book down atop yet another cold, damp satchel of tea leaves which were slowly staining the edge of the cover. 

Just then, Jester popped up beside him, a frown on her face. "Caleb, I think your book is getting a leetle wet. Do you think maybe you should pick it up?"

"Should I ... pick IT up?"

"I really think you should, it might get ruined you know." Helpfully Jester reached to move it for him, and he whisked up the book before she could touch it. She frowned at him. "Really Caleb, if you want to keep your things nice you should take better care of them."

He wanted to shout, to shake her, but instead he took a deep breath, barely managing to speak through gritted teeth. "I will remember that."


	11. Walk the Dog

They were visiting Nicodranas, and Nott was with Yeza and Luc, and Jester had gathered Nugget for a walk. Stopping at the door, she paused to look at Caleb where he was reading. "Caleb, do you want to come with us? We're going to walk down by the water and look at the stars for a leetle bit. If you wanted, I mean, you don't have to, I just thought that maybe it might be nice, just the two of us, you know?" Her face blushed purple and she stared at her feet for a second. Nugget stood on his hind legs, whining for attention. 

Closing his book with a sigh, Caleb offered her a tired smile. "I will come with you, Jester. It is time I stretched mein legs." Carefully tucking the tome away inside his jacket, he stood and stretched out all the kinks that occurred from spending hours hunched over and reading. Jester looked up, a bright smile lightening her own expression. Edging a little closer to Caleb, she held out her hand to him. Hand in hand, with Nugget dancing at the end of his rope, the pair exited the Chateau and headed towards the docks. 

The salty air was chilly at this time of year, blowing through their hair and teasing at the tips of the waves. Once they were away from the crowds, she released the rope and let Nugget blink about, in and out of the water. They didn't talk, just swung their linked hands in amicable silence for a long time. Finally, Caleb stopped, and Jester turned to look at him curiously. "Jester... I enjoy spending time with you. I know that I was very ... distant before. But I would not want to be away from you anymore. Ja?"

Going up on tiptoe, she brushed her lips lightly across his cheek. "I like you too, Caleb."


	12. It Evaded Me

Perhaps they painted a strange picture to those that walked by. The blue tiefling in her frilly dress, a smudge of cake frosting on her face, and the human wizard, a pile of books at his side and cat hair stuck in his collar. If they did, they were hardly the ones to notice, wrapped up in conversation as they were. The discussion was clearly getting heated as the wizard gesticulated wildly, his voice rising with passion. "You do not understand, Jester, I was looking for just the right words, and I could not locate them. I was looking right at Essik, and he was looking back at me, expecting something clever, and it simply evaded me. Do you know what I said instead of some deeply inspired commentary on the complex magical tome we were studying? I compared the magical elemental rune to the swirl of frosting on a cupcake! The arcane spiral that captures the improbability of a moment, and I compared it to baked goods! I had a brilliant discussion planned, and it all evaded me."

He flung himself backwards dramatically, one hand across his forehead. With a puff of magic, Frumpkin appeared on his chest, purring comfortingly and kneading the fabric of his jacket. "Oh Caleb. That doesn't seem so bad! I said just yesterday that sometimes your magic looks like the treats Mama used to have brought in from that bakery I liked so much in Nicodranas, maybe it was just that you were thinking of."

"That is the point, Jester. I need to impress Essik, so that when he reports back to the Bright Queen about us he paints us in a favourable light and secures the position of the Mighty Nein in Xhorhas. We need a place where we are safe from the Empire and their spies. A place where you are safe. Instead, I let my mind wander and came off looking like a complete Dummkopf."

Jester ducked her head, her cheeks blushing a lovely shade of lilac. "Your mind wandered, and you thought of something I said?" 

Silence fell between the two, long and awkward as Caleb froze, realizing the implications of the statement he had made. It was too late now, though, to take it back without hurting her feelings. He could change the subject, just as he had a million times before, but maybe... maybe this time... "I find... I often think of you, Jester, when I am thinking about things that I enjoy. I very much enjoy the magic that Essik is teaching me, but I also enjoy the time spent with you. The way you see things, it is very different than how I see the world, and that is good, ja? If only you see things in one way, you can end up following blindly..."

He stopped and Jester reached out, linking her fingers with his before laying back beside him. She knew what he was thinking of. Caleb more than anyone knew the consequences of following someone blindly. His whole world had exploded because of doing just that. She ached for her friend, even though there was nothing she could do to heal this particular wound, even though she was a really good cleric. This was something he would have to fix herself, or at least that was what the Traveler said when she asked him to make Caleb not be so sad all the time. She knew it was why Caleb worried about the Traveler too. Not a lot of people had heard about him, even though he was like, a really powerful god and stuff. 

She squeezed Caleb's fingers, turning on her side to look at him. It was funny, how handsome he was now that he wasn't so stinky and wasn't all covered in dirt all the time. "I think about you a lot too, Caleb. Whenever you go off by yourself to do something without the rest of us, or sometimes when I'm alone. Sometimes when I sleep I have dreams about you, you know? Not like, sexy dreams or anything embarrassing like that. Not that I wouldn't mind if you showed up in my sexy dreams, or that sexy dreams are embarrassing, I mean, you are very handsome and..." Her voice trailed off, finally putting an end to the babbling that was spilling from her lips. She tried to surreptitiously untangle her fingers from his, but Caleb kept hold of her.

"I see the proper words are evading you tonight as well, mein freund. I... I am glad that you have dreams of me. No matter the kind of dreams they are. I think... I think it is good that we are much in one another's thoughts now. I would not be as happy if it was only you in mine, and not me in yours."

Jester sighed in relief, glad that Caleb wasn't upset with her. "Maybe... Maybe we can spend more time together, just the two of us? then I don't have to dream about you so much, because you will be right there..."

"Ja. That sounds nice."


	13. Water flowed

They were in the hot tub, just the two of them. They had started the evening with the others, but they had trickled out a few at a time. First Nott, who wasn't that interested in sitting about in the water in general, then Caduceus, off to do... whatever it was he did. Beau and Fjord left together, to practice his 'moves' as they were doing more and more often lately. Once it was just the two of them, they had settled into a kind of comfortable quiet that they had achieved more and more frequently. 

At least they had been, until Jester looked over at him with that sly little grin of hers. Her tail snuck around under the water, poking him in the side and making him jump, sloshing water all around. The back-splash hit Jester mid-chest and she giggled in delight. "Oh I see what you are starting there, Caleb. Water fight!" Cupping her hands she forced water towards him, splashing Caleb in the face and giggling some more. He paused for only a moment, before throwing caution to the wind and splashing her back. After a few rapid fire exchanges, Jester, in typical fashion, cheated in a grand scale. Summoning her magic from the Traveler, she raised her hands, controlling the water around them. It rose up high, and then crashed down over them to her squeals of delight. 

It flowed back into place, and then overflowed, out around the hot tub area. "Oh Caleb! Oh no!" Still laughing too hard to really do anything about it, Jester scrambled out of the mostly empty hot tub, grabbing at her towel and attempting to soak up the floors with them. "Caleb! Fix it!"

"Can you not just control water again?" A smile curling his lips until his eyes shone brightly, Caleb scrambled out the other side, rescuing his towel from Jester's grasp and wrapping it around his waist instead. The water kept flowing, escaping out into the hallway. 

"No! That was all the spells I could cast until tomorrow. Maybe Fjord can help us? He could do that trick too I think." She screwed up her face, scrubbing at the water and mostly just spreading it further out into the hallway. "I didn't think that there was this much water in that little tub. It didn't seem to be that much water when we were setting it up. I thought when we did the whole create water thing that it was only a little bit of water, just enough for the tub, but now there is all this water all over the place."

She kept chattering on, and Caleb lost track of the train of thought, but smiled fondly at the mess she was making. "I will go and find Fjord and ask if he can come put the water back into the tub."

"Okay! Thank you!" She glowed up at him, causing him to stumble and come to a brief stop. It felt like his heart was trying to hammer its way through his chest.

"Ja... I will just... go do that now then." A hand on his chest, he scampered out of the room to find their friend.


	14. The test results

An explosion shook the Xhorhouse, causing Caleb to drop his book in shock and produce a flame in his hand. It came from the bedrooms, and he knew that Nott and Jester had gone up that way earlier. Panic welled up in his throat, nearly strangling him. Racing towards the sound he found Jester and Nott stumbling out of Nott's room, covered in soot and coughing. Jester offered him a slightly guilty smile. "What happened here? Are you all right? Was it an attack?" The concern in his voice made the tiefling wince, the guilt level of her expression increasing.

"It wasn't an attack, Caleb, it was an experiment!" 

Moving to place her much smaller body slightly in front of Jester, Nott nodded. "It was a great experiment! Jester knew exactly what would happen at the end of the test." One last glance between the two seemed to convince Nott that all was well, and she scooted back into her room muttering about alchemical reagents. 

"An experiment?" The flame in Caleb's hand died down, and he frowned at his blue friend. "What did you say would happen?" His voice was quiet, cautious. He wasn't sure how to deal with the situation unfolding between them. 

Jester gave him a brilliant smile, eyes twinkling with mischief and the guilt suddenly gone. "I said that you would come running super fast to find out what we were blowing up. You always look after us, Caleb." He wanted to be mad at her, but how could he, when she looked up at him with such affection? For the second time in under ten minutes, he felt like he was choking on emotion. Laying a hand on his arm, she lightly brushed a kiss across his cheek. "I am sorry that I made you worry, Caleb. I thought that maybe it would be a little funny, but I didn't want you to be upset."

"Ja. It is okay, Jester."


	15. Just walk away...

"And it was so bad, that I actually got a refund for the experience. Honestly they talk the she-devil up so much, and it was really just a yawn-fest." Jester went rigid in her seat, her normally pleasant expression first bleaching out, and then brightening to an angry purplish hue. Fists clenching she shot to her feet, but Caleb reached across the table. 

"Jester..." There was a warning in his tone, his face cautious as he glanced behind her at the big mouth who dared besmirch the Ruby of the Sea where she could hear them. Her eyes flashed dangerously, but she didn't pull away from him... yet. "Just walk away. Not every yammering Schwein is worth getting kicked out of another tavern for." Caleb's voice rose. "After all, anyone who can't manage to pleasure a woman whose entire existence is devoted to the art, well, I suppose they would have to blame it on the courtesan, rather than their own Schwanz."

The look of tender gratitude on Jester's face was enough to colour Caleb's own cheeks with the beginnings of a blush, until the loud-mouthed cretin from the other table put a hand on Jester's shoulder, spinning her around. "You two think you're funny, do you?" The man swung his fist, cracking against the tiefling's cheek hard enough that Caleb's hands sprouted fire of their own volition. 

One hand on her cheek, Jester's eyes blazed a fiery red from a moment, and her voice deepened, the infernal power of her Hellish Rebuke rolling off her tongue as she raised her other hand to point at the bastard. "<strike>**_Fftc haf_**</strike>!" Flames sprung up around the man, and he screamed as his clothes and hair momentarily seemed to catch fire. He staggered away from her, and even his companion gave the tiefling and the wizard space all of a sudden.

The flames in Caleb's own hands extinguished and he moved around the table to examine his dear friend's face. "Are you okay, Jester? Did he hurt you?" A pause to cast a dirty glare at the crispy-edged drunkard who seemed to be scuttling out of the tavern.

"I was surprised that he hit so hard, but I think I got him more than he got me." Caleb's hands barely traced over her skin, not quite touching the quickly forming bruise, his eyes dark with a concern that warmed her on the inside. She wasn't sure why her heart was suddenly racing, when it didn't even go a little faster after that guy had swung at her. She just kept looking at Caleb, as the glow faded from her eyes, leaving her just Jester again, sweet Jester, who was only a little bit devilish. A soft smile crept across his face, and her own lips twitched in response, but then sobered. "Are you okay, Caleb? I know sometimes when people go on fire it makes you upset..."

"I am fine, Jester." He wasn't sure what possessed him, but in a move that Jester had mastered, he leaned forward and brushed a kiss across her cheek, before sliding his hand into hers. "Come on, let's go back to the house and have Caduceus look at that bruise."


	16. Just another day

It was just another day, like a million that had come before. Except it wasn't. Not really. Caleb had kissed her. Yes it was on the cheek, but he had kissed her. It was just another day, but the sun seemed to shine brighter out of the little jars in the garden. The flowers smelled sweeter. Even Caduceus' vegan food tasted better (though still not as good as sweets). Jester hummed as she went through her routines, chatting to the Traveler, mostly about Caleb. She sent messages to her Mama, to the Gentleman, to Calianna, though she only told Cali about the kiss. She drew a picture of Caleb in her journal, trying to capture just how handsome he was. Maybe he was no Oskar, but he still stood up for her, and that made him a hero.

She sat, leaning her head against the big tree on top of the Xhorhouse, content in a way that she hadn't been in ages. They had come back here without even visiting Mama, but this time it didn't really make her sad. She would see Mama again, and could talk to her whenever as long as she didn't spend all her spells for the day. It was just another day, and Caleb had kissed her. She was so lost in thought that she didn't notice there was someone else in the garden until they sat next to her, the familiar brush of a jacket against her arm as he pulled out a book to read. 

She sprawled out, drawing in her journal, her side warm where it came into contact with his while he read his book. It was just another day, but it was a good one.


	17. Grass cuttings

When he first saw her, he saw only the joy that she wrapped around herself. He was drawn to it, how could he not be? He had given up on such emotions for himself. With what lay in his past, he knew that he did not deserve them. She, though, had such light, that he could not resist the urge to bask in it, at least for a little while, whether he was deserving or not. It soothed him more than he was willing to admit. She was so open, it seemed, and that openness drew him in. Closer than he thought possible, close enough that it endangered the carefully built castle of guilt and self-loathing that he had constructed around his heart.

It was only when he finally let down some of those walls that he could see the rents in her own cloak of protection. Underneath that near-manic effervescence was such soul-crushing loneliness, such a poignant fear of rejection, that it near choked the breath right out of him. He tried, oh how he tried, to coax some sharing out of her. He thought, maybe, for a moment at least, that she would let him in, but the fear took her, and she retreated. Knowing too well the strength of that fear, carrying it himself as he did, he could only offer his continued support. Even though she didn't share, they seemed to grow closer.

Little by little, he saw more of her, and it only made him care for her more deeply. She thought her wounds lesser, mitigated somehow by her privilege, as if that erased them entirely. It seemed the more he saw, the more she pushed that first image. That happy-go-lucky façade. What else could he do but let her? So she played her pranks and drew her dicks and they all grew closer together, but somehow left gaping holes between them. They shared their experiences and their stories, but somehow forgot all the little gestures. The checking in with each other emotionally. What did it matter if you could whisper secret confessions of a romantic feeling for another of the group if you had to hide away from them all to cry?

Each of them came into the group thinking that the others were strong, but they were learning, little by little, how broken each of them truly was. Could the fragile bonds they formed stand the tests they would be facing? They were growing in power, and changing with every new challenge, but was it truly for the better? Perhaps only time would tell, but time was pressing down on them, a heavy hand with indifferent intent. They were not whole, not even in number, and perhaps never would be after what they had lost, who they had lost. That was why it was so important, to rescue the one that was still out there. A second loss might finally scatter their broken pieces to the winds.

Maybe drawn by his grim thoughts, or by those fragile threads that had begun to weave between them, she appeared, laughter in her eyes as she came around the corner and pelted him with grass clippings from the rooftop garden. They settled in his hair, sliding down his collar, and he saw, for the moment, that she held only happiness and mischief. He smiled at her, then, and his own unpracticed laugh twined around her joyful one. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps he was too serious for what was currently a brief respite of peace.


	18. Her husband

She had been so sure of what she wanted, once upon a time. A handsome, loving husband. One who married her, and stayed with her until they were both old and gray. Children of her own to love, to spend every day with. Children who were never alone. She had pictured her future husband a thousand times, in a thousand different ways. Usually he was tall, always handsome. A warrior, with strong arms and shining armor. A hero, with accolades and bard's songs in his honour. A noble knight, glittering in the setting sun. Some of these things felt silly, once she had left home. Adventuring wasn't as romantic as the old tales made it out to be.

She thought she had found a new dream husband. Spurred on, perhaps, by the dramatic nature of Tusk Love, she saw a sailor, spurned for his green skin and half-orc blood, but still noble for all that. Still with a sword in his hand and with a voice that curled her toes. Maybe he wasn't as strong as her, but that was okay. He fought really good, and he had magic too. Eventually though, that dream faded as well. He clearly didn't see her the same as she saw him. Then there was that incident with Avantika... She curled her nose and her eyes flashed red. 

She stopped thinking about love, for a little while. Maybe it wasn't for those like her. That was until... until a quiet friendship started feeling like more. When she stumbled, soft hands, unused to holding a weapon would catch her. When she needed support, mentally, emotionally, she reached for scarred arms that were not weak for all they were not strong. She found more comfort in a soft voice and a thoughtful pause than she thought possible. A clever mind, and a certain disregard for the safety of himself compared to that of others, well what was that if not it's own brand of heroism? She had even seen flashes of a playfulness that matched her own.

Lately when she closed her eyes, picturing her future husband, he had reddish hair and the halting cadence of a Zemnian accent. He smelled of ink and parchment, and a little but of sulfur. He had no shining armor, and he couldn't lift a sword, she thought, even if he tried, but there was safety in his arms, and an affection in his eyes that made her ache. It was so different than what she had felt before, but maybe, just maybe, it held more truth to it?


	19. Rules change

Some lives are governed by rules, others had a looser view of the world. Caleb's life had always been defined by the parameters of others rules. First those of his parents; Zemnian rules of behaviour. Then there were Trent Ikithon's rules; soldierly rules. Rules that he followed unquestioningly. Unthinkingly. Right up until that night, when the fire burnt away everything he had been, and the rules crumbled to ash along with his mental stability.

There were no rules in the dark space. He didn't remember much of it. Bodies came and went while he was lost in a hellscape within his own mind. It was harder to escape than any prison. He needed to come back into himself, but he didn't know how, and none of the formless bodies could teach him. He dug around in the cinders that had once been him, and came out with a rule. A rule from Before. Dusting it off he set it in place, and began to reform himself around it. Soon other rules formed. Trust no one's intentions but your owns. Always look out for number one. Never fight when you can flee. Rules to protect himself. Rules to survive. When finally he had enough of himself together to escape, he had a solid set of rules that defined him.

The rules weren't solid, though. Built of scraps and charcoal they had trouble holding together. One mistake and he found himself in a prison cell, bending one of the rules for a little goblin girl. Her self-loathing echoed his in a lot of ways, but her gentleness with him was what really broke through. They clung to each other in the darkness, sharing skills, and making his second escape go far more smoothly than his first. They formed a bond, a friendship, and that changed the rules as well. He built himself more rules, wrapping them around himself like protective armor.

Then chaos crashed into his world. A flurry of colours and unfamiliar faces. A rainbow cacophony that defied the rules he had made, trampling them with little regard for his sensibilities. He resisted, as best he could, these interlopers, but they were persistent. Their chaos wearing down the edges of his order. While he scrambled for his logical reasons, they slid inside and found a place for themselves, undefined by his rules. When one of them fell, he found himself clinging all the tighter to those that remained. He orbited the leetle blue tiefling, her joy and childish delight awakening parts of him he had thought dead and buried. He looked at his rules, chipped and worn by the constant abrasion of those he had joined, and wondered if maybe he could change them one more time.


	20. Hello

"Hellooooo Caleb. It's me, Jester. Are you almost done at the library? I was going to go to shopping, but then I thought maybe I-" _Pause. _"Shoot, I ran out of words. Anyway. I thought that maybe you wanted to go shopping with me, because there is a book store in-" _Pause._ "Okay. So there's this bookstore that I thought maybe you would want to go to with me, maybe, I mean if you maybe wanted to."

  
"Hellooo Caleb. It's me again. Jester. What are you and Essek doing today? Are you really studying, or are you like making out and stuff?"

  
"Hello Caleb, are you sleeping? Nott is snoring really really loud tonight. Did she do that when you two used to share a room together?"

  
"Hello Caleb, it's Jester. I still can't sleep. Do you want to meet me in the kitchen for a glass of milk and a cookie?"


	21. You, again

At first it was annoying. Every time he tried to find a moment to himself, or hold a private conversation with Nott, there she was, rosy-cheeked and smiling. He'd be planning the moment to leave them, to go back to his regular routine, but her singsong voice would call "Cay-leb" and there she would be, full of chatter about the most inane things, and that strange god she worshiped. Sometimes he just wanted to turn around and Silence her, but he never did. Best to be unobtrusive. Don't stand out. Don't be noticed. She was clearly rich and entitled. Or maybe tieflings in general were just obnoxious, Mr. Tealeaf certainly was.

Eventually that opinion began to fade. She was generous to a fault. Her concern was not just for hers, but for those around her. He watched the way she was with Fjord, and felt... not quite a twinge of jealousy, but more like longing. He wanted someone to care that much. Their half-orc companion didn't seem to reciprocate though, even seeming, at times, uncomfortable with the attention. Then, that night happened. Molly was dead, Fjord, Jester, and Yasha taken. Suddenly, Caleb accepted how much they had come to mean to him. He wanted them back. He needed for them to get their companions back. They picked up a couple temporary companions, people who could help them retrieve their friends... The ones still living.

Seeing Jester, trussed and imprisoned, was harder than he had ever imagined. Flashbacks plagued him for days afterwards. She was quieter, and the absence of her chatter was louder than her conversation ever had been. He found himself trying to make her smile. Damn near making a fool of himself fighting for that hint of laughter that had always curled the corner of her mouth. That was when he started seeing her, the real her. The quietness hadn't just come from the imprisonment, but it somehow existed inside her all along. Behind the carved dicks and ribald commentary. The abduction had only made it deeper somehow, but once more she pushed it down, and he watched, unsure of what to do. 

Now it was him, constantly reaching out. Jester, would you like to go shopping with me. Jester, would you like to go to the bookstore. Suddenly he was the recipient of that bright, hopeful smile that Fjord never seemed to appreciate, and it warmed him inside. He found himself sharing more, not just with Nott, or even Jester. He had to be the person Jester saw when she looked at him, eyes sparkling, teeth flashing in that knowing little grin. He found himself watching her, and then wondering if it was creepy. She was so bright, though, it was like watching the stars at night. No matter how dark it kept getting, she shone on, and he was a half-step behind, soaking up that radiance.


	22. Distorted Sounds

The wind blew through the Xhorhouse with a querulous tone, causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand up. Shutters rattled, and boards groaned as they resettled more comfortably. It was silly, really. They had faced demons and ghosts and even dragons, but she was scared now. Here in her own room, with Beau snoring lightly just a few feet away. Gathering her blanket around her shoulders like a cloak, Jester tiptoed across the room. "Beau? Are you awake?" She watched her best friend snort, twitch, and then roll over to snore even louder with a look that wasn't quite disappointment. Another howl of the storm outside, and she squeaked, falling on her butt for a second. 

Scuttling backwards across the floor, she thunked against her own bed, looking up at it with wide eyes. She didn't really want to crawl back into it by herself. Not with the wind crying and shaking things about the way it was. Maybe... Maybe a hot bath would help. Mama always said a hot bath calmed her down at the end of the day. Plus, the hot tub was in the basement, way from the hollow wailing of the wind. Easing down the hall, she stopped as murmuring voices clearly came from Caleb's room. Was he... talking to someone? She crept closer, pressing an ear against the door, but heard little aside from the distorted murmur of his voice. She was about to be on her own way again, when his voice rose, and she recognized that note of distress. Pushing the door open, and praying to the Traveler that Caleb would forgive her intrusion, she dashed into his room.

Caleb was trapped in a wild tangle of blankets. His eyes were closed, and his forehead damp with a sheen of sweat. She paused, watching as he struggled against the coverings where they trapped his legs together, and then let out another broken cry. "Master no!" She had never heard so much fear and sadness in a person's voice before, and without even thinking she was beside him, placing a warm hand on his forehead as she untangled his legs. "It's okay, Caleb. It's over. You're safe now. I will keep you safe." When the skin around his eyes relaxed, she straightened the blankets and covered him again, before brushing the hair out of his face. His eyes fluttered open, and she blushed, realizing what it must look like with her sitting at the edge of his bed. "I heard you cry out. I'm sorry for coming in without asking..." She knew how much he valued his space, but he stopped her as she rose to leave him. 

"Thank you... The nightmares are bad now that Nott has her own room." He looked so lonely, and her gaze drifted to where he still held her arm, as if unable to let her go. 

All trace of embarrassment fled, and she gave him a gentle smile. "I couldn't sleep. The wind was too scary. Do you think... I could stay here with you? Just for a little while?" Caleb didn't say anything, and she couldn't begin to guess what his expression meant, but he scootched over, leaving just enough room for one little blue tiefling, and let go of her arm to hold the blanket open. Jester stretched out on the bed, at first leaving space between them, but as Caleb tucked the blanket around her, she couldn't resist cuddling up close to him. "Thank you, Caleb."

"Sweet dreams, Jester."


	23. Whispers

Growing up, she never would have thought that living in a house with all her closest friends would be a bad thing. Of course, back then she didn't think she'd have feelings for a stinky wizard man instead of a handsome and dashing hero. It was worse than when she thought that maybe she was in love with Fjord. He wasn't as muscular as Oskar, but at least it made sense that she would like him. He saved her life a whole bunch of times after all, and he was her first friend and traveling companion. No one had really talked about it too much though, so she figured that it was okay, even though Nott's advice had been... weird.

Now, though. Now it seemed wherever she went there were heads close together, telling secrets that she wasn't invited to, that would stop when she walked in the room. She frowned at all of them. What else could they be talking about, if not her and her stupid crush on Caleb. Beau and Nott were all friends now, with all their secret whispers and drinking wine together. Wine didn't even taste that good, more like grape juice that someone had left in the sun too long. Who even wanted to drink that? Blech. If they wanted to drink and whisper, that was their business. 

Fjord and Caduceus, too, were always together. Oh she supposed that maybe they were talking about the Wildmother, but sometimes now Fjord would seem to maybe be flirting with her, and she didn't get it. She had liked him for ages and he never noticed, why would he do it now, when she wasn't really interested anymore? Honestly, it seemed like the only one that wasn't whispering all the time was Caleb. He was usually so focused on his books, or studying with Essik, that he didn't even notice all the others being weird around them. With a sniff of dissatisfaction, she went to find the stinky (well, not that stinky anymore, really) wizard. She found him, like always, tucked away in a corner studying a book. It kinda looked like one of the books they'd found inside the Happy Fun Ball. "Whatcha doing, Cayleb? Anything I can help you with?"

Startled, he looked up, but then offered her that almost-smile of his. "Jester! Actually, yes. I think that maybe you could be of assistance for a moment." He looked around with a furrowed brow. "I was hoping Nott would come for a talk, but you are just as helpful." 

She sighed, a little put out by being described as 'just as helpful' as Nott. She'd rather he was super excited just to be spending time with her, but a tiefling took what she could get. "Great! What can I do to help?"


	24. Something was off

He was, he could admit, sometimes not the most observant of people. Particularly if he had some new spell book or treatise on complex and experimental magic to investigate. That did not, however, prohibit him from noticing that something was off today. The Xhorhouse seemed oddly quiet. Empty even. Come to think of it, it had been hours since one of his well-meaning companions had blundered through and interrupted his study. Since that was something that usually happened every twenty minutes or so around here, he immediately felt a rush of concern welling up within him. Determined to find out the reason, he closed his book and went to investigate. 

There was no one in the garden, not even Caduceus who was usually tending to his flowers or relighting the lanterns around now. There was no one in the kitchen, not even Nott raiding the ice box for pocket bacon. The hot tub was devoid of either Beau or Jester's half-clothed forms, despite the fact that they often relaxed there at the end of the day. Now he was getting very worried. He even poked his head into the war room to see if Fjord was in there, practicing with his new sword. But nothing. Not a peep. Summoning Frumpkin with a snap of his fingers, he cuddled his cat close, petting his fur to soothe his own frazzled nerves. "I do not like this. Where could they have all gone to?"

Setting Frumpkin down, he mentally asked the cat to see if he could find any of their wayward companions. Padding about the house, he soon returned, showing Caleb that the house had been thoroughly investigated and found empty, except for Jester's room, which he couldn't get into. Banishing Frumpkin away just in case, Caleb took the stairs two at a time, rushing to his friend's room, worry tightening his features. He found the door locked, but using a spell that he had taught Nott, he soon had it opened. There he found Jester, standing what could barely be described as clothing, the fabric was that sheer. Her face held a delightfully mischievous expression. 

"Caleb! I thought it would be like another hour before you noticed everyone else went out." She set down the tray of pastries. "I was going to be all sprawled across the bed, very dramatic like my Momma at the Chateau." That was when she noticed how tense he was, and her face fell, quickly filling with concern. "Oh no! Caleb! I didn't mean to worry you, I just wanted to surprise you..."

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "Jester... what is all this...?"

She giggled, and something about the tone of it made him blush bright red. "Well Caleb. We're all alone, the whole house to ourselves, so no one will disturb us. Just the two of us. I even got some really fancy chocolates at the market to share. I just thought we could... you know..."

It all made sense now. Everything coming together to paint a very plain picture in front of his eyes. Coughing, he tugged at his collar. "I see... Is it warm in here or is it just me?"

Jester giggled again. "Well maybe if you start by taking off your coat, we could talk and eat these pastries. Then we can see if any other ways to spend all this time ... pop up."


	25. Smoke

The comforts of the Xhorhouse and the Chateau were nice, but he liked these nights best. On the road, like they were at the beginning. Everyone wrapped in their bedrolls and eating burn soup and lint-covered jerky as they warmed their tired bodies around the campfire. They were not the same people they had been when they first set out. There were fewer secrets, and more heartaches. They had gained strength and skills, they had lost innocence and even those that were once among them. The tenuous bonds that once had bound them together were stronger. They had been tested, strained, and in the end proven true. What they had forged between them was far more durable than he would have anticipated. He let his gaze drift across the faces of his companions, let that strange warm feeling build within him. It was self-indulgent, but he had earned a moment to indulge. He had thought, after Ikithon, that he would never bind himself to another again. 

The loss of Astrid and Eodwulf's support had crippled him, and letting anyone else close enough to cause him that much harm again did not make sense, but he couldn't help it. Unable to keep looking at his friends, he stared into the smoke above the fire, watching the way it bent and twisted in the light, forming shapes against the dark sky spotted with stars. He imagined he could see figures in the smoke, murky at first, but coming together more solidly the longer he stared. Two figures, familiar in size and shape. They came towards him, hands reaching, beseeching, before the fire flamed up, consuming them. Caleb shouted in fear, scrabbling forward, reaching into the flame. 

"Caleb!" The voice startled him, and he didn't know he had been sleeping until he blinked his eyes open to find himself flat on his back, a blurry blue face so close to his own he couldn't focus on her features. The weight across his chest and hips suggested that she was pinning him to the ground, but his mind was fuzzy, and he couldn't quite piece together why she would be doing that. She drew back, and he could see concern knitting her brows together as she patted energetically at his sleeve. Turning his head, he saw the last wisps of smoke coming off of it as she put out the flame. "I thought you were asleep, but then you yelled and reached your hand right into the fire! I thought you were gonna get burned! Are you okay?"

He tried to answer, but she was already pulling his jacket off, examining his arm and casting a quick Cure Wounds spell even though there was no discernible damage. Once reassured she scowled at him but helped him sit up. "I apologize, Jester. I believe I was sleeping." She stared at him for a long moment, as if willing him to say more, but he wasn't ready to confess whatever vision had been plaguing him. Finally she sighed, and simply snuggled up against his side. 

"Fine. Keep your secrets. I will just stay right here where I can keep you from doing anything else stupid."


	26. Liar

She never confessed to feeling bad, or sad, or mad. It was as if she thought their bonds were so fragile the slightest negative output would strain and snap them. He couldn't understand it. Her mother clearly loved her deeply and completely, where had this fragility come from? She hadn't been abused, as far as he knew, and even being sent away had been for her own safety. Returning to Nicodranas had proven that her mother still cared for her as deeply as ever. Why was the little blue tiefling so convinced that her feelings were so much... less than others. That they mattered less. That they weren't worthy of notice or focus. 

She thought they didn't see, but he saw. He always saw. He couldn't stop his eyes from tracking her movements. He couldn't stop his breath from catching when he caught the edge of that strained smile. He couldn't stop the way just being near her warmed him from the inside out, no matter what she was feeling. He sought her out. He drifted towards her almost subconsciously, though he was self-aware enough to notice it happening. He wasn't stopping it anymore, as much as the own sharp edges of his shattered past warned him off. He couldn't resist her giving nature. Her warmth. Her kindness and compassion. If anyone who could forgive him his past, who else but her?

So he let himself get closer. When she slipped, when she faltered, he tried to be the one that was there to catch her, emotionally. He could see the way her happy façade was cracking under the strain of the increased danger they were facing. The hardest part was that they were always surrounded by the others, and he would not force her to out herself in a crowd. He bided his time, waiting until they were back at the Xhorhouse, where he could find time alone with her. Finally, he could ask her how she was feeling, though all she would say was 'I'm fine.'

He took her hand in his, squeezed it lightly so that she knew he was there, and looked her in the eyes. "Liar."


	27. I have plans

Jester had been distracted all day. Caleb watched her, quietly, as she murmured to herself, barely laughing when Nott made a joke about a dick. Concerned, he tried to get closer to her, to take her aside and ask if she was okay, but she managed to avoid his questions, just giving him a vague smile before bending down to whisper with Nott. Caleb kept watching, frowning as Jester waved and then went off by herself. As he tried to follow, his little goblin friend pulled him to stop. "Let her go, Caleb. She has some lady things to buy."

"I don't feel comfortable with her being by herself. Don't you think we should-"

"_Lady_ things, Caleb." With a sigh he gave in, letting Nott drag him off to the book store, though he looked over his shoulder several times, eyes lingering on the place where Jester had vanished into the crowd. Just as they finished up, Jester reappeared with a covered basket and a very self-satisfied smile. They wander back the Xhorhouse with very little conversation, and as they get to the door he lays a hand on Jester's arm. 

"Can we speak for a moment?"

"Not right now, Caleb." Her voice was light and airy, giggled rising up like champagne bubbles as she spoke. "I have plans."

She shook off his hand and bustled off, leaving him standing and staring. Again. Fjord passed by, slapping him heartily on the shoulder. "Don't worry, she has that effect on everyone."

Several hours later, Jester's voice entered his mind. "Hello Caleb, this is Jester. Can you meet me on the roof? I have something that I want to show you.... doo dee doo dooo."

With a sigh, he rolls his eyes, though she can't see him. "Okay. I am on my way, Jester." He passed through the kitchen on his way up, to find Caduceus cooking, Fjord, Nott and Beau all seated and chowing down. Nott nudged Fjord and laughed, making him frown harder as they deliberately avoided looking at him. With a huff, he moved up to the roof garden.

Amidst the daylight jars that lit the place, and the vibrant flowers that had started to blossom, Jester had hung little paper stars. In the centre, there was a large blanket laid out, trays holding different sweets and pastries spread around it, and to one side, Jester, dressed in a lacy little dress and a slightly nervous smile. She rubbed her hands on her thighs, looking up at him. For a moment, he felt like he was drowning in her big, beautiful eyes. That nervousness, a far cry from her usual burbling confidence, tugged at that part of him that was always afraid. "I thought... I thought it would be nice to have a picnic. If you wanted, I mean. If not, that's okay cuz I can definitely eat all of these cupcakes by myself."

"I would love to... but why?"

Jester grinned, her usual chipperness taking over once she knew he was staying. "Happy Birthday, Caleb."


	28. I turn the page

They lounged together on what had quickly become 'their' picnic blanket. Jester was doodling, Caleb was reading a book about the Chained Oblivion. Frowning, he pushed it towards the tiefling, pointing at a section near the bottom of the page. "Jester? Can you read this for me, and tell me what you think?" Surprised, she sets down her paints and pulls the book closer. Caleb watches her so closely, he knows the moment she reaches the bottom of the page, turning to the next one for her. She catches his eye, smiling softly and leans in to brush a kiss of gratitude across his cheek.

He blushed bright red, mumbling something that was almost coherent as she refocused on the book. Frowning, she reached the end of the passage he had been reading. "So... do you think Tharizdun can still be released? Even without Obann's weird ritual? Because it sounds like that's what this is saying. Caleb..." Her brow furrowed, then her face set. Stubbornness taking over as she caught his hand in hers. "You found this, which is so important. Now we know, and we can work to stop it. Just like we stopped Obann. We can do anything. Together."

Still concerned, he accepted the warmth of her touch, returning the pressure of her hand squeeze. "Ja. Together. We have gotten this much done so far. We have to be careful, though. This is getting very dangerous, Jester. I do not want to see you hurt." Or worse... he added inside his head, but not out loud. He didn't want to scare her, not when she already looked upset. She hadn't let go of his hand yet, and instead went back to the book, reading more. Bending his head down, he joined her, and their free hands brushed as they turned the pages together.


	29. In the fridge

From the kitchen came Jester's growl of frustration, followed by the low murmur of Caduceus's voice. Following the sound of the voices, Caleb came around the corner, finding Jester casting magic over a box while the firbolg looked on. Nothing seemed to be happening, but then the magic fizzled, and once more the tiefling let out what was almost a shriek of frustration. "I can't do it, Caduceus! I know we got the daylight to stay, but I can't figure out how to make the cold stay in the box. If I can't figure it out then we can't keep the things in here!"

With a huff, she sat back on her haunches. Caleb entered, putting a hand on Jester's shoulder. "What are you trying to do, Jester? Do you want me to help?" Caduceus gave his soft smile, patting Caleb on the shoulder.

"That sounds nice. I'll just leave you two to figure it out then."

Caleb had Jester explain what she was trying to do. "I wanted to make a box that kept food cold for a long time, like, so that the cupcakes and stuff didn't go bad, you know? I figured, we made the daylight spell stay in the jars, but neither Caduceus or I know any spells that make ice! I think it would be such a good thing to have though, you know? Since we go away all the time, this way we wouldn't even have to worry about throwing food away all the time when we come back."

He frowned, unhappy with the fact that he couldn't help. "I am sorry, but I do not know any ice magic either, it is not my specialization. I know mostly fire magic. Maybe, though, next time we go to Nicodranas we can get something from Pumat Sol? He seems a very clever enchanter, and can probably help with what you are trying." 

Jester threw her arms around Caleb with a squeal of delight. "Oh Caleb, you're so smart!" She kissed him soundly, right on the lips, and then scrambled to her feet, running from the room and calling for Caduceus. Caleb, however, remained crouched on the floor, his fingers touching his lips, a bemused look on his face.


	30. Her couch

He wanted it to be perfect. With all the emotional ups and downs they had faced thus far, she deserved something nice. Something beautiful, just like her. He went to every carpenter, furniture maker, and tapestry maker, comparing wood samples and embroidered fabric patterns. He had to have explained what he wanted over a dozen times, down to size dimensions and fabric texture, and still hadn't found what he wanted. Frustrated, and a little embarrassed, he arrived at the teleportation circle in Yussa's tower. If he was going to find what he wanted anywhere, Nicodranas would have it. 

Of course, he probably should have told the others where he was going, even if he didn't tell them why. By the time a few hours had passed, Jester's voice echoed in his ear. "Caleb? I was just wondering where you were, you know, because like, no one has seen you in a while, and we're worried. I'm worried."

He sighed, rubbing his forehead just above the bridge of his nose, thinking. "I am fine. I had to consult with Yussa on a wizarding matter."

"Okay! Let me know when you get back... okay? I mean, you don't have to but I would like it..." Her voice cut off, running out of words in the sending spell. 

He found a smile sneaking across his face in spite of himself. "I will let you know as soon as I get back, Jester. Do not worry." Several hours later, he was home, the plans for what he wanted finally in hand, well, tucked into the pocket of his jacket. He stopped in the market first, but then went and found Jester, to reassure her that he was back home where he belonged. He suffered the lecture about going off on his own with a mildly amused smile on his face. "I am sorry, Jester. I did not mean to worry you."

A few days later, the carpenter delivered the item he had been working on with a local seamstress, and Caleb got the man to help him drag it into Jester's room, right up near the window where she could sit and look out into the world. Jester came bounding in response to his Message, her face beaming as soon as the little couch caught her eye. "Oh Caleb, it's perfect." He catches her as she flings herself at him, and returns her excited kiss with passion. 

"Nein, Jester,_ you_ are perfect."


End file.
